How often do you remind yourself that you’re enough, or that you already are doing enough? I surely don’t do it as often as I should. I’ve always been quite impatient with a progress, as I always had big goals to achieve – guess I always wanted more than I have. And I know I talk a lot about finding a balance, appreciating and being more in the present… But stepping back, failing or simply having those low moments is already part of the balance. Although, I often forget that as well! And here comes my not ever fulfilled mind yet again impatient, sometimes too self-critical, sometimes too much perfectionist, which is then making me feel very anxious. And if you don’t know that yet – anxiety isn’t a good friend to me! Sometimes I can deal with it, sometimes I can’t. And when I can’t is all because I forget that I’m already enough. So if you often need to remind that to yourself as well – keep on reading, as today I’ve got to share quite a few tips and tools to get over it!
You might as well often feel stuck in this never ending rollercoaster, which is often influenced by the society, social and any kind of media, successful people life stories, others’ achievements, etc. They all can be very inspiring and motivating, but sometimes by seeing others’ living their dream lives, or seeing them succeed we often end up comparing ourselves to them, or simply not feeling enough. And you know what I’ve learnt? That is something everyone does, even those successful people that we see as idols. Because this is what humans do, and not always it comes from not appreciating your present or yourself, or lack of a self-esteem and self-love. We often look up to others in order to keep ourselves motivated and inspired, because other successful stories give us hope that it’s possible and that you can do it as well, but sometimes… sometimes at our lowest we do also remember those, unfortunately not in a way we should. But here again it’s ok to fail in this case. What is not ok is to get stuck there, and not to remind yourself that whatever has happened – you are enough.
Or in my case: I often struggle with that when I have too much on my plate, when I fill my notebooks and schedulers with way too many tasks which I not always can handle. And when I fail, when I forget something just because I took some time off and went for a long walk at a beach with a friend instead – I feel like I’m not doing enough, I forget that I really needed this time off, and it’s not the end of the world.
Sometimes this happens because I don’t plan my time accordingly to my abilities, or I’m too excited about something else, or again – I want everything at a same time, and I’m impatient. But most importantly – I forget that I’m already enough, and I’m doing enough.
So here’s why finding that inner peace and balance is crucial. And is also crucial to remind yourself that you’re allowed to fail and there’s nothing bad if you do. Chances are soon you might even forget all those little failures of yours which now might look quite big. I’ve written a post about finding a peace of mind a while ago, which I highly invite you to read once again!
But now let’s take a look at these few tips which might help you to remind yourself that you’re enough at the lowest moments!
THINGS YOU SHOULD REMEMBER WHEN YOU’RE NOT FEELING THAT YOU’RE GOOD ENOUGH:
• The people you compare yourself to compare themselves to other people too. We all compare ourselves to other people, and I can assure you that the people who seem to have it all do it as well. When you look at other people through a lens of compassion and understanding rather than judgment and jealousy, you are better able to see them for what they are—human beings. They are beautifully imperfect human beings going through the same universal challenges that we all go through, so learn to be less judgmental, send love instead of jealousy! Read my post about envy and competition and how to deal with those.
• Your mind can be a very convincing liar. There’s this great quote: “Don’t believe everything you think.” That quote completely alters the way we should react when a cruel or discouraging thought goes through our minds. Thoughts are just thoughts, and it’s unhealthy and exhausting to give so much power to the negative ones.
• There is more right with you than wrong. As someone who sometimes tends to zoom in on all my perceived flaws, it helps me to remember that there are lots of things I like about myself too—like the fact that I’m alive and healthy – which is most important! Or that I live in Australia, and ocean is just couple of minutes from my home and I can always take a refreshing walk if I need to! So whenever you feel like you’re not enough – remember what you really like about yourself! List at least a few things and you’ll see how these will cheer you up!
• You need love the most when you feel you deserve it the least. I find that it is most difficult to accept love and understanding from others when I’m in a state of anger, shame, anxiety, or depression. But adopting the above truth really shifted my perspective and made me realize that love is actually the greatest gift I can receive during such times. And that doesn’t particularly have to be someone special/other half – having a good talk with one of your friends can be another way of showing and accepting love!
• You have to fully accept and make peace with the now before you can reach and feel satisfied with the later. One thing I’ve learned about making changes and reaching for the next rung on the ladder is that you cannot fully feel satisfied with where you’re going until you can accept, acknowledge, and appreciate where you are. Embrace and make peace with where you are, and your journey toward something new will feel much more peaceful, rewarding, and satisfying.
• Focus on progress rather than perfection and on how far you’ve come rather than on how far you have left to go. One of the biggest causes of self-loathing is the hell-bent need to get it right. We strive for perfection and success, and when we fall short, we feel less than and worthless. What we don’t seem to realize is that striving for success and being willing to put ourselves out there is an accomplishment within itself, regardless of how many times we fail. Instead of berating yourself for messing up and stumbling backward, give yourself a pat on the back for trying, making progress, and coming as far as you have. Also, start journaling your progress – right it down how you feel after accomplishing your every little and big task daily, or how you felt after exercises and meditation. These will also help you to keep on track and focus more on the process rather than final result.
• You can’t hate your way into loving yourself. Telling yourself what a failure you are won’t make you any more successful. Telling yourself you’re not living up to your full potential won’t help you reach a higher potential. Telling yourself you’re worthless and unlovable won’t make you feel any more worthy or lovable. I know it sounds almost annoyingly simple, but the only way to achieve self-love is to love yourself—regardless of who you are and where you stand and even if you know you want to change. You are enough just as you are. And self-love will be a little bit easier every time you remind yourself of that.
I hope now you’re ready to overcome that false self-doubt of not being enough whenever you’re at your lowest! Although, I highly recommend to reminding these to yourself from time to time, no matter the mood or occasion. They say it’s good for one to go to sleep feeling grateful for at least 10 things, as well as to start a day with 10 more, and I couldn’t argue with that – it works! One more thing before you go – I highly recommend checking out this great book ‘The subtle art of not giving a f*uck.’ by Mark Manson which I’m totally in love with! I guess listening to audio version of this book while taking long walks at the beach does it’s magic as well, but this book points out all the things we should let go and not worry ourselves about, and these are as daily as it can get. So imagine how lighter your life could become after getting rid of those?! Highly recommended!
While now let me know in comments below what you like about yourself and how you deal with those low moments when they come along! Don’t forget to sign up for my weekly letters which are filled with inspiration and motivation for one to find a healthier balance in life! Have a good one! :)