So often we put ourselves in this position where we limit our potential, or even worse – we say that we are unqualified for something, but what we’re really saying is that we are too scared to try it, not that we can’t do it. And this comes in many ways and forms in life. My most recent was the fear of height and me almost fading after seeing how far is the ground. Although I used to be full of a self-doubt less than a year ago, and that was the reason why I’ve turned down so many great opportunities in life, not to mention all the experiences and lessons behind it. And it doesn’t matter if those weren’t all that great – to live life in a self-doubt and insecurity is, at a minimum, a waste of time. So if determination, less self-doubt and fearless is something you’re interested in – keep on reading, as today I’m going to share quite a few tips and some inspiring stories to help you stay out of it!
I’m very intuitive person, and since I was a kid I’ve discovered how powerful the intuition is and that I surely can trust mine. Although, not always it’s all about that, because when you give too much thought about not so wanted or expected outcome – it can overtake your intuition and all ya can feel is fear. You should always listen to your heart, but you should also understand the power of the mind and that it has a huge impact in the final result! So to master your intuition you need to stop mixing it up with your fears, and always take care of your mindset.
Luckily I’ve got to understand this at the young age as well, although I had quite a huge gap in my teenage years, and then even bigger which has ended not so while ago. The gap was influenced by my insecurities, self-doubts, too much of self-criticism, and not enough of a self-love. I’m now happy to say I’m quite over it, yet there’s still a long road of it’s mastering, but that makes it whole even more interesting and challenging because each lesson teaches you something new, sometimes something even least expected!
My story began in childhood, which wasn’t that easy and joyful in so many aspects but nevertheless I was a warrior, and I always fought for something I wanted so bad. Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t one of those annoying kids that scream and cry when they don’t get something they ask for. Although I tried these tactics, but in my case they didn’t work. I think I’ve got to thank my dad, cause he taught me about having deserved to receive or achieve whatever you wish for, or to always work hard in simpler words. So, if I wanted a candy – I had to plan it even before someone said they are going to do shopping.
I always had a list of things I really want to get, and each day I would think of what I can do to achieve those. I would always clean up after myself, have my stuff and especially toys always lined up on the shelves where they need to be, I washed the dishes, asked my parents if there’s something I can do, so whenever the time would come and someone would be going to do shopping – I’d come up and ask for one thing from the list with all the reasons why I deserve it. And that’s when I would fight hard and wouldn’t give up! Although, I often used to be a drama queen, I admit. I’d tell them how good I’ve done, how hard I’ve worked, I’d take my dad to my room and show him how clean it is, and that I’ve done all the homework and extra so now I deserve to get this special candy, or a new doll or whatever even though I’ve got one yesterday already, and I would do it so passionately, and so dramatically with all those gestures and tones. I was hard to talk out of it, because I was so determined and so tough.
But the bigger I grew up – the less determined I became. People, teachers, classmates, the environment in general wasn’t something I got along with easily and so I became very self-aware, shy and unconfident in so many situations. And unfortunately that has lasted for way too long. But I guess that’s another lesson which we always have to be grateful for, no matter the circumstances, because sooner or later we will. And so to be tested by others and environment was another lesson, although in this one I kinda failed. Maybe I wasn’t that determined at all?
‘Most of the time it’s not lack of experience that’s holding us back, but rather the lack of determination to do what we need to do to be successful.’
We put so much energy into coming up with excuses why we can’t be, do or have the things we want, and designing the perfect distractions to keep us from our dreams… I think my biggest determination was not the belief that I can have it, but wanting to have it.
During the school graduation years I didn’t give up my dreams, I worked hard, left my home and the country to chase after the adventure I was so thirsty for, because I was so sick and tired of that present lifestyle and I wanted to change it for the better. That was my biggest drive and passion and so I never gave up on it.
So here’s the deal: passion trumps the fear! And that’s why we always have to keep on learning, and searching what we are passionate about, encourage and never give up on those.
Going back to where I started: this time I overcame my fear of heights only because I was and still I am so passionate about the travel and adventure and I just had to climb that mountain, as it was a part of it and that part I didn’t want to give up no matter my fears. It wasn’t easy, but it was so worthy, and all that adrenaline and relief was priceless.
So imagine how it feels when you’re determined and passionate about something huge you want to achieve, you keep fighting for it, you keep climbing the mountain, and then one day step by step, by putting one foot in front of the other you’ll find yourself at the top of the mountain?! It’s surreal. Although, the process can be a bliss as well if you add more positivity into your mindset, and then listen to your heart and believe in it… Just try and see! ;)
Here are few tips that might help you stay determined and overcome your fears:
• Remember your past fears which you already overcame. Maybe it was an appointment at a dentist? Maybe a public speaking which you were so afraid of, but then it went so well? Remember the scary thing you did that made you shake and that how it felt when it was over? Did you die? Did you loose a hand or something? Even if someone laughed or commented it, you are still alive and probably you have forgotten of it since now. Face your fears with the truth, that they are all in your mind, and they will lose their power over you once their done.
• Change the perspective. Fear is all about how you choose to look at things, so by changing your perspective on it you can let the fear of not doing the thing you’re scared of fuel your quest to greatness. If you’re afraid of something, because you’re ashamed that it won’t work, and you’re scared that someone will make fun out of it – change this to: how ashamed you’ll feel if you won’t do it, or that someone will comment you not doing it, because you’re a weenie.
• Be in the moment, be present. Ask yourself is anything happening to you right now, at this very moment? Right here, where you’re sitting, is anyone hurting you? Or is it all happening in your head? Don’t make the decision before the actual fact has happened. Instead stay in the moment and connect with yourself. Surround yourself with positive and encouraging thoughts. Breathe deeply, and belief in yourself. You can do this!
• Cut off the bad influence. If everything’s all bad on the news lately – cut it off, stop watching it. Stop reading the negative and scary articles. Be more conscious of the information you absorb. Pay more attention to where’s your focus in your day-to-day life, and make sure it’s leading to something positive!
• Be positive. Try to stay positive in such situations, of course – you don’t have to fake it too hard. Remember, listen to your heart but don’t mix it up with your fear! If your heart says that this is really something you shouldn’t do – then don’t do it. But if your heart is craving for it somewhere deep down inside, and it’s just you who’s afraid – then cut the bullshit. Be positive, go out and do it! Also, don’t think of anything upsetting in bed at night! Yes, at these moments, in the peace and quite when there’s nothing to distract us, our minds turn into gigantic magnifying glasses that make all our fears 100 bigger than they are. So think of something positive instead!
• Love yourself. Just the very imperfect perfect way you are and you’ll be invincible.
I hope these tips will help you to overcome your fears and fight for your dreams and never give up your passions! I’ve decided to make this year fearless, and I’m going to take the most out of it. I feel that there’s something big waiting for me, and I’ve been surrounding myself with too much of a self-doubt for way too long. That’s why I never turn down the opportunity of overcoming my fears now, or not doing something even though it’s scary. And trust me, sometimes it is! Even this hike in Stirling National Park which we did while we were on a road trip: it took us about an hour or so to reach the top of the mountain, but the trip to the top wasn’t easy – the fear of snakes and whatever other dangerous and wild was too much for me at some point to handle, and then sitting at the edge of mountain took a lot of a nerve as well. But I wanted to do it, I wanted to overcome it because that was my plan, my promise to myself. And all the other promises I made – I will fight hard to keep up with those! I encourage you to fight for yours, cause life is too short and too interesting to be wasted!
Share your encouragement in comments below and have a great week y’all! :)