You know, every blogger, entrepreneur, anyone who’s out there fighting for his or hers purpose of life, the self-realization and even with behind the scenes included – often depend on the approval. And it doesn’t particularly mean that someone has to come and say that ‘yeah, I highly approve all this that you’ve done’. Approval has many forms. In our case – it’s the engagement, audience, followers and readers responses. Even those likes and comments – they are part of the approval, just a different form of it. And yes, this is a feedback that we sometimes need to hear, that motivates, inspires us, helps us to grow, etc. But there’s a thin, yet very risky line which we often tend to cross over, and that’s how we end up feeling flat, overwhelmed, uninspired, tired or bored. And that line is depending on the approval and giving it too much of a power.
I’ll be honest, at some point I have suffered from this quite a lot. I was often doubting myself because I felt that I’m sharing something no ones interested in. At some point I felt so lonely and so weird, even though I knew that people do see and check what I put out on my blog, or share through social media. I just didn’t get enough of the feedback, or more right would be to say: not as much as I expected. But then one day everything changed for the better… when I gave up my expectations and became independent from the approval. In today’s post I’m going to talk all about it and share a few tips how to finally make peace with it.
I know it’s hard not to give it a thought, especially after seeing how everyone’s doing great. I’d lie if I’d say that sometimes me and envy don’t cross our paths. We do, but I allow it to come and go, and on the way out – I make sure I fill envy’s pockets with love for that particular person, or event, or achievement that brought up such a feeling out of me. I stopped comparing myself with others, and instead I focused on writing my own unique story. I learnt to accept and love myself just the very imperfect way I am. I do get ups and downs, but that’s what being a human means. Although, I don’t allow these down moments to take me under control. But I let them in, I don’t ignore them, I learn how to deal with them, and each time it’s a very interesting lesson I’m proud to learn.
When it comes to approval – there has to be balance as well. Scientists have proved that human brain does actually need bit of a stress, because it motivates us and helps us to grow. The same goes for the approval – we do need bit of it, but we shouldn’t depend on it too much. We should use it for the self-growth and motivation as well. Although my approval story began not so very nicely. I was suffering and always criticizing myself. I was asking other’s opinions: friends, families, boyfriends, etc. Somehow, at some points their opinion meant more than my own, and I gave them all the power to be a big impact in my lifestyle, decisions, actions, and even feelings. That all came from lack of a self-love and yes – I had some pretty harsh issues with that.
I guess all begins with it. Once you’re in true harmony and peace with yourself, once you achieve your own healthy balance and stop living by some guides and rules, once you learn to love yourself and appreciate the present – you learn to balance with the approval, criticism, other’s opinions, and down moments.
Here I’ve got a few tips that might help to become independent from other’s approval and to let it become just another life inspiration:
• Stop ignoring your feelings and emotions. Learn to deal with them. I come from a family where ignorance for one’s feelings was pretty normal. I’ve met heaps of people whom chose to ignore whatever they feel in order to feel better. Yes, feeling better should always be a goal if you’re upset, stressed or hurt. Although, it doesn’t mean that now you should ignore all the bad feelings and focus on the positive for 100% all of a sudden. Because that m’friend might not always work out. Sometimes it does. But sometimes it doesn’t go anywhere and eventually it hits you right in a back, when you least expect it. So in this case – learn to make peace with your emotions. Whatever they are. Accept them, but don’t allow them to put you under control. You are your emotions and you control them. And I’m talking about the not so positive situations, of course. Although sometimes all you might need is a simple meditation, or just few minutes of deep breathing with your eyes closed.
• Meditate. In such a busy and intense world not always we have enough energy and power to deal with all the emotions. And that’s where meditation is the best cure. Simply starting to practice this couple of times during the week, and then making it daily for at least 10 minutes will help you to keep up with this inner peace and harmony, and in the most stressful moments you will need that, trust me.
• Always find time to check in with yourself. Meditation can take a part in it, as well as simply giving yourself a home-made spa treatments, reading a book, lying in a bathtub, or going for a walk. I also like to sit and write all my thoughts down, then I read them out loud and I often find lots of answers to my own questions.
• Listen to your heart and learn the language it speaks. I know that saying listen to your heart is so well known, so often heard and even boring, but it’s very important and we often tend to forget that. When it comes to approval and if I sometimes feel in need of one – I go back to my heart and look for that most important feeling. If you will let – your heart will tell you all that you need to hear, beginning with why you need it and what’s behind it.
I’d also like to add that all these shouldn’t become some pretty harsh rules that you frustrate yourself to live by. By saying ‘stick to your gut, commit and keep it up’ I don’t mean to say that you cannot fail, or if you do – then it’s really bad. It’s not. Failure is part of the balance. And once you let it go – you learn to balance better! However, we all are unique, and what works for me – might not work for others. So learn your what works for you, but don’t limit yourself by creating some rules!
While now, let’s see what’s upcoming later this week!
I’ll be sharing a very special giveaway, which you might know already about if you follow me on instagram and if you check my instagram stories, haha! I promise some other special offers so there will be not just a one winner in the end! So if you’re interested – make sure you put your details in the form at the end of this post!
We have finally started to surf, and that we are so excited about. I apologize in advance about all the beach photos from me that might pop up in your feed. Although, I will also be sharing a few behind the scenes of our surfing adventure – so once again, make sure you follow my stories on instagram!
While now shoutouts to this lovely Lithuanian Jewelry company called Ohh Ahh. Of which you can see quite a lot in this post ;) As well as video, yeah! Here’s something really dreamy we made this weekend while having a post breakfast walk in University of Western Australia garden. By the way, that place is as magical as Hogwarts, just a tropical version of it!
Now tell me how was your weekend and what’s inspiring you lately! I also highly encourage you to watch this film called ‘Captain Fantastic’ which is the reason why I have slept 3.5 hours last night only. I couldn’t stop thinking about this film and life in general, so in this case my Monday has been pretty sleepy, yet very dreamy! :) I hope you’re having a good one so far!